As usual, our family ended up at the Deer Lease the day after Thanksgiving. It's a Tradition!!!! It's the only time of the year that the house at the Lease is packed with adults and kids and some of us have to bunk together. It doesn't bother me for a big crowd to be there, but this year I was a little afraid I might bother them. For the past few Months, I have had a snoring problem. Not just a little snore....From the Mouth of my husband, I sound like an 800 pound hog. I haven't always been a loud snorer, but I think since I've gotten bigger so has my snore. I hear about it EVERY MORNING!!!! "Man, you were really sawing logs last night."he says.....Mind you I've listened to him snore for 10 years and never complained, but God forbid me try to join the snoring club and it's No girls allowed!!!! ....Come bed time last night, the Hubby was getting a little snippy and I was in no mood.....then he had to make a joke to someone else about my snoring, so without even thinking it through I grabbed my blanket and a pillow and headed outside.....I'll show him, I'll go sleep in the truck! I got to the truck and decided the front seats had the least to move around so that's where I laid. Mind you it's the windiest night we've had so far and the truck is parked right under a tree. I'm starting to regret my decision a little. I'm laying across the whole front seat and the seat belts are stabbing me in the sides.....Thankfully there were a couple of jackets in the truck so I covered the seat belts and settled back down. Suddenly my Heart starts to ache....not broken heartache, but what I was imagining the beginnings of a heart attack might feel like. I lay there thinking, I could have a heart attack right now and no one would even know until morning. Well, it is what it is....I'm not going back into that house and facing defeat! My Heartache goes on for a few more minutes and then I come to the conclusion that it's probably just gas. I lay there trying to drift off to sleep and then it comes to mind that there are some pretty big branches hovering over the windshield. The windshield that I am laying right under. I start picturing the wind knocking this big limb or possibly the whole tree on top of the truck and crushing me. Again, no one would even know until the next morning. I could have a tree branch go through my chest and into the seat pinning me there and causing me to die a slow death just because I wanted to make a point. I can see the headlines now. (I know, I have a big imagination) I decide it's best that I get into the back seat which means I have to unhook car seats and move them to the front and remake my bed in the back seat. Meanwhile my husband, the baby and everybody else are counting sheep inside the warm house! I really showed them didn't I?????? I finally drift off to sleep.......3AM, I'm up. CRAP!!!! I didn't even think about the fact that I might have to pee in the middle of night. Well, I'm thinking about it now and I'm thinking that maybe I can hold it.....NOPE, I must go. I step outside of the truck and squat... What I wouldn't give to be a man right about now!!!! All I could think about was some furry animal walking up on me while I'm out there squatting, not to mention it's really windy. Have you ever heard that saying, "Don't Pee in the wind." I never thought I would speak from experience, but it's really not a good idea to pee in the wind! I get back in the truck and make myself comfortable. 5AM rolls around and I knew the Men would be getting up soon to go sit in their stands. I started to worry that my Husband was stuck in the house with the Baby and wouldn't be able to leave her, so I gathered all of my stuff up and headed inside just in time for him to get dressed and hit the road. I was so ready to just relax, stretch out and SNORE, but the Baby wanted to play. She wouldn't stay in her play pen and she kept sitting on my head, bouncing up and down and laughing while I was trying to sleep. I managed to keep it together until she fell asleep and then I was off to dreamland. I wasn't miserable in the truck, the cool weather was right up my alley..... and everybody probably got a better nights sleep because I wasn't in the room "sawing logs" all night, but I think I will definitely think it through next time before I decide to sleep in the truck again!
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Jeri, you are so dang darn funny!
ReplyDeleteOh, I am laughing till tears are forming. WHY,
ReplyDeletebecause my hubby who wore a cpap machine when we first married and occasionally can still do a snore number himself, even after his gastric bypass...he will always take the chance to talk of my snoring talents when others are around to overhear the conversation. And, traveling the country in a fifth wheel there is little room to go elsewhere to get away from the snoring offender.
So, try some breathe rite strips and if that doesn't stop you from snoring, then try some ear plugs so you can't hear the complaints.
deb
The story is MUCH better the 2nd time around.....my sides were hurting I was laughing so hard.... <3 you....
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